By Jack O. Lantern
Happy Witching Hour!
‘Head’ Writer/Editor
WITCHES MEADOW -- It’s been a busy night as Jack-o’-Lantern Press journalists have
been preparing for the 2017 season of monster news and entertainment. They’re
also getting ready for a three-month journey through the 13 districts of
Transyl-vein-ia as research for an upcoming guidebook of the land called “The
Transyl-vein-ia Traveler: A Travel Guide For Monsters, Ghosts, Vampires,
Aliens, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies, Demons And Mad Scientists, Too.”
Transyl-vein-ia’s
Witches Meadow is “the” hot spot for the Witching Hour at midnight, and our
reporters have been there to catch the action.
“We
seen monster folks show’n’ up at the Black Cauldron Encampment as early as dawn
(ribbit) on Saturday for a good spot
‘n the mud,” said a big ugly toad. “They don’t wanna miss (ribbit) the big gala. I’m glad I live ‘n the mud. I was born with a
(ribbit) good seat fer the show. (ribbit)”
The
“big gala” that the big ugly toad was referring to is, of course, the Witching
Hour, where witches will cast their spell to open the portals for monsters to enter
and cross into the human world during the Halloween season.
“We
arrived this evening to a very packed Witches Meadow,” said reporter Vin “Skull”
Eek. “We checked out the witches booths where you could pick up brooms, spells,
tails of rats and other fun things like that, then we sat down with some of the
sorceresses to perform spells tonight and talked about a variety of topics with
them, including the Orange Witch and her first appearance in Witching Hour
attire alongside her new fellow witch mates. It’s gonna be spellbinding.”
Earlier
this month, the Orange Witch announced that she’d leave her little cauldron at
the Hooked Nose Cackle Factory, where she did stand-up comedy for 100 years, to
perform on a much bigger stage tonight for the Witching Hour. Critics called
her the Kevin Durant of the witching game, joining a team of winners instead of
building a success of her own at the Factory. Unfortunately (and not in a good
way), attendance has been down at the Factory since the Blue Witch cast an evil
spell on stage late last year and “bombed.”
“I’m
ready to start a new chapter in my life,” the Orange Witch said regarding her
move to center stage this evening. “I just want to do what I do best, and
that’s cast wicked spells that are doom for the whole family.”
Much
of the excitement this evening is for the new season of Jack-o’-Lantern Press material and the trip reporters will take to
research the upcoming travel guide.
“We’re
basically going to spend a week in each of the 13 Transyl-vein-ia districts up
until Halloween,” Eek said, “speaking and howling with the locals, and pulling
together all our research to create a guidebook for those who either want to
travel to Transyl-vein-ia or those who live here but have never really stepped
outside their castle or swamp or cave to see the world around them. Each week,
Monday through Friday, we’ll report on some of what we discover. Some stuff
will only be on the Jack-o’-Lantern Press
blog, and some stuff will only appear in the new book. Some stuff will be in
both publications. And some stuff we’ll just leave out.”
This
first week will offer coverage from Witches Meadow, followed by stories from
Downtown Transyl-vein-ia, the Mad Science District, Transyl-vein-ia Hills,
Werewolftown, Bigfoot National Park, The Carpathian Mountains, Shadow City, Monster
Island, the Black Lagoon, Valley of Doom, UFO Springs and finally
Jack-o’-Lantern Park.
But
in the meantime, everyone and everything is focused on the festivities to take
place tonight. With everyone in bad spirits (and with bad spirits swirling all
about), reporter ghouls and goblins with time (and victims) to kill took the
opportunity to show off their goofy side at the Witches Unsocial Media Station
set up in the Encampment.
With
selfie sticks, cameras, some monster bobbleheads and a stack of oversized
plastic emojis, the Jack-o’-Lantern Press
zombie, alien and demon reporters had some fun by flooding unsocial media with
cursed pictures and videos that, after seeing, will kill you seven days later.
Like we said, they were showing off their goofy side.
So
check out our blog Monday through Friday, August through Halloween, as we bring
you monster news and entertainment from Transyl-vein-ia in preparation for
Halloween 2017.
