Letters from the Lab: Werewolf pet project gonna have to wait

By The Mad Scientist

Columnist

MAD SCIENCE DISTRICT -- I got back to the lab yesterday, tired.

Some mad scientists get to spend their entire days trying to take over the world. I work a day job.

It all started a few weeks ago, when the wife and I were going through our finances and we noticed, as of late, that we’d been spending far too much money on robot armies, magnifying rays and, of course, more books -- every lab needs an unhealthy supply of books.

So I decided to get a job over at Evil-more Shopping Mart down on Doom Drive. Yesterday, it was one of those coupon days at the store and the place was packed with mad men and women coming in for price adjustments on brains, body parts, corpses . . . You mame it. Needless to say, I had my share of exposure to imbeciles for a while, even though I’m due back at the place five days of the week, every week for the time being.

Anyway, I got home from work, and the wife called and asked to pick up the kid from mad scientist school and take him to grave-robbing practice. Then she told me she was running late due to traffic on the moving sidewalk, and she wanted to know if I could make dinner, too.

I heated up some leftover chemical creations I’d scienced up over the weekend, and by the time I’d picked up the kid, the wife got home and we’d all had dinner, I was too tired to tinker with my little pet project in the basement. The guy I had tied up down there turned into a werewolf -- because it was a full moon last night -- and even though I had him hooked up to the machines and everything, I just didn’t feel like going through the whole process of transferring his lycanthrope energy over to the man-made monster I’ve been working on here and there for the past six months.

I ended up staying upstairs in my favorite chair in my study, falling asleep listening to episode after episode of this serialized murder-mystery podcast I recently discovered.

Tonight, there’s another full moon out. But it was also another coupon day at the store, another day of price adjustments and imbeciles, another night of picking up the kid, dropping off the kid and making dinner, and another night that that werewolf in my basement is gonna go through his transformation hooked up to all those machines again, and my man-made monster project’s gonna have to wait yet again, probably till the next full moon. I’ve just gotta say that this podcast I’m listening to is really gettin’ good!