‘Head’ Writer/Editor
MONSTER
ISLAND -- Captain FrankenPirate, also
known as Michael Hanna in the human world, is a monster
maker/pirate/magician/card reader/fortune teller/ghost detector -- a sort of
jack-o’-lantern of all trades, as he says. He’s a Frankenstein monster in his
own right, a concoction of many parts . . . and talents, too.
His ship, the Blarney
Hanna, pulled into Pirate Harbor late last night, and Jack-o’-Lantern Press got the opportunity to sit down with him at
his favorite table in his favorite tavern for some of his favorite rum to talk
about his work, how he got into what he’s into, and about how you can check out
some of the spooky and kooky stuff he’s doing.
Jack-o’-Lantern Press: How was your voyage?
Captain FrankenPirate
(Michael Hanna): Choppy.
JLP: So, we know you make
monsters and we know some of the monsters you’ve made, but what kind of monster
are you? Were you made in a lab,
created from black magic, hatched from an egg or were you just born?
MH: The
evolution of my many personalities comes from years of being exposed to glow-in-the
dark toys from the 1960s, eating lots of Boo-Berry, Franken Berry and Count
Chocula cereals, and being a loyal Famous
Monsters of Filmland magazine subscriber.
JLP: How long have you made
monsters, and what got you started?
MH: I
started making monsters in my lab about 30 years ago . . . because I had all
these ideas in my brain and I needed to share them with others like myself -- and
there are plenty of other Halloween/Monster/things-that-go-bump-in-the-night
enthusiasts like myself. The pirates are my first love. There’s something about
that time period I just really enjoy. It just seems to click with me, and creating
the characters is never ending while building them.
JLP: Tell us about some of the
monsters you make. We know you’ve made skeleton pirates, werewolves and
vampires. What else? And what’s your scariest creation?
MH: Yes,
I’ve made skeleton pirates, werewolves and vampires . . . I’d probably say my
scariest creation was a family of life-sized zombies, though. As I created each
one -- there were five of them -- I had no place to put them, so I set them
around my kitchen table. It looked like I had a family of five zombies sitting
at my table for dinner every night.
JLP: As a captain and creator of
your own pirates, does that mean you sail with a crew, or do you sail solo?
MH: I
hang with a crew of the most amazing pirate characters that ever sailed the
seven seas. They’re a very large group of pirate re-enactors, kind of like the
Renaissance Fair folk, but a lot more rowdy and a lot more fun. This group of
wonderful colorful pirates can be found all over the country. Believe it or
not, there are hundreds and hundreds of pirates all over the world, and not
just in the monster world. There are hundreds and hundreds in the human world,
too. I sail with them all.
JLP: Have you ever harnessed
energy from lightning to create any of your monsters?
MH: No, but I drink a lot of rum, which gives the same of effect.
MH: No, but I drink a lot of rum, which gives the same of effect.
JLP: What types of monsters,
wizards, mad scientists, evil warlords or other haunters buy your work? Do
plain old ordinary people buy your work, too?
MH: People
and things who think outside the box . . . march to their own drum . . . have
fun with creative, crazy, wild ideas . . . You get the idea. People who have a
pirate room or bar in their homes buy my creations to decorate or enhance their
dwellings. Then there are collectors of unusual things. Ordinary people? What
is that?
JLP: Once you release your
horrors into the world, do you have separation anxiety? If so, well, lucky you.
Do you ever check in on your creations, see what kind of terror they’re up to?
MH: Do
I have separation anxiety? What father wouldn’t?! Looking at your children
after you’ve created them and then having to part with them, all you can hope
for is that they go to a good home and that you raised them properly before
they go to represent you elsewhere. Unfortunately, once they leave my lab, I
have no way of checking on them since it’s against the monster code. Hopefully,
one might pop up in the news or on the Internet doing what they do best . . . scaring
people!
JLP: Can you tell us about your
lab? I’ll bet it’s filled with body parts, bones, spell books, operating
tables, flasks of colored liquid, levers and control panels, Tesla coils and
large machinery, death rays, and dusty piles of failed experiments, right?
MH: Well,
from your description, it sounds like big brother is watching, but aside from
all the cliché things like the ones you mention, you’ll also find a
refrigerator, a stove, the television, my terrible children’s stacks of vampire
girls magazines . . . Oops, scratch that last comment.
JLP: What types of body parts for
your work are most difficult to find?
MH: I
would probably have to say dragon eyes. Hard to come by and the damn dragon
always seems to want to keep them.
JLP: So tell us, honestly, have
you ever concocted a plan to take over the world?
MH: No, probably just Pittsburgh.
MH: No, probably just Pittsburgh.
JLP: We understand you’re also a
magician. What kind of magic do you do -- black magic, evil sorcery, voodoo or
just the regular kind?
MH: Yes,
I am a magician. I’ve performed magic since I was 7 years old. Still can’t seem
to get the “sawing the woman in half” trick down to a science yet, though I’ve
created lots of twins because of it.
JLP: Were you born with magic?
If not, what evil magician taught you what you know now?
MH: No, birth is magic itself, but I was self-taught and learned from books in the library. There were no DVDs or videotapes back when I was learning.
JLP: What’s the evilest spell or
act of magic you’ve ever performed? How’d it go and did kids take off screaming?
MH: The
evilest spell is probably the one I cast on the woman I married. And do kids
run out screaming? Only if I’m wearing shorts when I’m performing.
JLP: You also find ghosts. We’ve
had many of our good friends in the ghost realm go missing. Can you find them?
How? Can you call on ghosts to just appear? Did you know I’m part ghost? Can
you call me? Whoa, here I am.
MH: (Laughs) Yes,
I’ve been known to be sensitive enough to find spirits. But then again, I could
find Waldo. I don’t use a Ouija board and I don’t do a ghost-to-ghost broadcast.
I’m just able to sense the force around all of us, and I know how to tune in
better than most people, but not as good as some.
JLP: Can you actually communicate
with ghosts? I mean, other than me. Can you play in their world?
MH: Sometimes.
I walk with them and talk with them, but when it comes to solid walls, they
keep going and I stay where I am.
JLP: How long have you been
reading others’ misfortunes? Do you go in for that more light-hearted “fortune”
telling stuff, too?
MH: Reading
others’ Miss-fortunes, Mr.-fortunes . . . it doesn't matter. It’s all good. But
I'm not really a fortuneteller. I’m more of an advisor, so I connect with
people and try to give them a good direction as to which way they’re supposed
to go with their lives.
JLP: What is your biggest
challenge in all that you do? Or is it all that you do that’s the challenge?
MH: I
would have to say . . . walking. My feet hurt a lot, otherwise there’s no
challenge too big and nothing I can’t create if I put my mind to it.
JLP: What do you do for evil in
your spare time?
MH: I still
eat Count Chocula.
JLP: Is there a special ghoul in
your life? What type of monster is she?
MH: My
main squeeze? Yep. And because I’m all-over-the-place crazy, she keeps a lid on
my coffin when I get too out of control. I guess you could call her the Bride
of FrankenPirate.
JLP: Any skeletons in your
closet?
MH: Just
the ones that are being made into pirates. Oh, and the ones that I feed the dog
when I run out of milk bones.
JLP: What other things would you
want monsters, ghosts, magicians, mad scientists, pirates, haunters and even
people to know about you and what you do?
MH: We
covered most of the stuff that makes up my crazy life. My dead -- I mean my dad
-- was a stuntman in movie westerns. My mummy is a stay-at-home type of mum.
But to expand a little more, Skullywags is a company I built from the ground up
about 20 years ago. I create these pirates, I sew all the clothing on them, and
I make all the boots, hats and all the accessories that are on them. As for my
magic, I mainly do theme magic like Harry Potter and pirate magic, and I even
did a “My Little Pony” show not that long ago. Regarding my tarot card/channeling
abilities, I’ve been involved in connecting with the “spirit world” since I was
very young. I do readings/channeling for people who are trying to find good
direction in their life. I also work with two paranormal groups as their
sensitive investigator, doing work in houses that are reputed to have spirit
activity.
JLP:
How can people
find you or contact you?
MH:
I’m on Facebook as “Skullywags” and as “Tarot Readings by Michael.”
JLP: OK, so, at the end
of these interviews, we like to fire off some questions like James Lipton from
“Inside the Actor’s Studio” does. So here we go: What’s your favorite shade of
blood and guts?
MH: Purple. It’s my
favorite color, too.
JLP: What’s your favorite type
of victim?
MH: Probably
victim of love.
JLP: If you could be any other
monster, what would it be?
MH: An
agent for the IRS.
JLP: What kind of scream or cry
of terror do you love most?
MH: The
one from my kids when they find out I ate all the donuts.
JLP: What kind of scream or cry
of terror do you love least?
MH: The
one from me when I find out my kids ate all the donuts.
JLP: What’s your favorite torture
device?
MH: I
think it’s a toss-up between the vacuum cleaner and the washing machine.
JLP: If The Elevator that goes
down to The Fire Caves exists (and it does), what would you want the Red Devil
to say to you when you arrive?
MH: I’ve
got these two glasses here. Did you bring the rum?