Witches Meadow ‘Deceaseful Settings’ -- something wicked this way can be humdrum

By Witch Wayryougonnago

Staff Black Magic Writer

You work hard for your vacation days, and you deserve a little R & R.I.P. With that in mind, Witches Meadow offers some serene locales and leisurely activities so you can hang noose.

The scent of burning flesh, the sound of victims screaming in agony, the sight of bats coming toward you with extended fangs, the feel of scorpions snapping their stingers at your feet while you sleep -- is there any need to go on?

If you’re looking to take it easy, then Coven Creek in Witches Meadow might be just what you need. You can spend the day fishing for that mystery catch or you can lie out on Poison Ivy Shore for a green tan.

Those who are able to stay put on the creek for a couple hours are lucky if they can move afterward. Though, some guests can’t go straight from the hustle and bustle of traveling to rest and relaxation, so they need something to ease them into serenity.

Go see Elixir Witch right there on the creek. She’ll fix you up with a cocktail that’ll make you feel as uncaring and sluggish as a sloth or a lemur. The good news is you might also look like a sloth or a lemur, except that might attract predators from the woods or water. These monsters won’t stop until they devour you whole, which kinda defeats the purpose of relaxation.

Why not head over to Full Moon Ridge instead? Enjoy spectacular views up there. You’ll have great angles on witches flying by the moon overhead and on the Burning Stakes down below where witches go to get cozy. On clear nights, you can even see your future across the valley in Magic Pond. But up there on Full Moon Ridge, there’s always the chance you’ll run into werewolves. Yes, lycanthropes do wander into these parts. And they won’t stop until they devour you whole. Again, kinda defeats the purpose of relaxation.

So check out the Mud Pits. Mud baths are always good for relieving tension in your body. The deep heat from the mud and geothermal waters have amazing anti-inflammatory properties. Mud baths also detoxify your body and soften your skin. And they’re so calming. However, the Mud Pits aren’t ideal for mud bathing. The mud monsters there are always looking for little treats, and you might fit that bill.

Maybe relaxation isn’t Witches Willow’s forte, in which case you might be better off skipping peace and tranquility and moving on to something more thrilling.

Check back here tomorrow for some hot things to do in Downtown Transyl-vein-ia.

This is one in a series of TRAVEL STORIES from the 13 districts of Transyl-vein-ia. These stories run weekdays between August and September. Jack-o’-Lantern Press’s regular news and entertainment coverage will continue in October.