Thursday, September 19, 2019

Book Excerpt: Hills Highlights

Below is an excerpt from Jack-o’-Lantern Press’s book, “Transylveinya Traveler: A Travel Guide for Monsters, Ghosts, Vampires, Aliens, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies, Demons … And Mad Scientists, Too.” 

To purchase the book, go to Or click HERE.

What’s in Transylveinya Hills, a monster’s suburban paradise? Plenty. Here are some highlights:

Pink Flamingo Garden Shop on Gnome Name Street — This is a great place to go to stalk up on the things you’ll need to build your own pieceful backyard paradise, with killer gnomes, killer flamingos and other lawn terrors that’ll tear you to pieces.

The Library of the Dead — The characters in these books jump off the page — literally in all of the literature here.

Transylveinya Hills Skulling Alley — Take a break. Roll some strikes and crack some heads where the lanes are long and the skulls are fresh.

The Firehouse — This is probably the best destination for recreation and relaxation. Take an elevator plunge down to the lava-flowing, flame-throwing caverns of the Fire Caves to spend some quality time with the Red Devil, and burn off some serious calories.

The Local Trash Services — Collect as much trash as you want to keep. But don’t be too greedy. Garbage is a terrible thing to waste.

Goblin Street bed-and-breakfasts — It’s a goblin’s job to wait on you here. He’ll wait on you to go to bed, and then he’ll call on you from his oak to come out and play.

Tree People Place — Unlike the goblins of Goblin Street, tree people won’t taunt you. They’ll just go into your room and take you. Their idea of playing is prickly, especially as they drag you up the trunks of their trees and through the branches.

Transylveinya Hills Drive-In — If you’re open to demonic domination, a night at the movies is always a top recreational activity. The demons up on that big screen are more than happy to come down and enter your vehicle … and your soul.

A haunted house in Bat Court — The bats are always swarming. Lightning never stops striking. Thunder keeps clapping. Rain pours forever. Skeletons greet you and take you into their dwelling so you can experience true haunted house living. And if you haven’t experienced haunted house living, take my word: it’s among the last things you’ll ever get locked into doing.

The Wreck Center on Wreck Center Circle — This is a great way to release stress. Bust down walls, crash through windows and smash up furniture. Using your own hands to break something down to the ground is a guaranteed way to make you feel productive.

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