The G.O.A.T. of all goatsuckers is dead. Charlie Chupacabra died in an epic battle late last night at The Alamo. Bad guys had been picking off more inferior goatsuckers in the area for weeks, and just when we thought our chupacabra brethren had them outnumbered, a plot involving U.S. military and rounds and rounds of unnecessary fire power was hatched to hit us where it hurt — and boy did it hurt. They got Charlie in the process. More and more G.O.A.T.s are being bred every day. Sequels are in our future.