Sunday, August 16, 2015

Captain Cook's Tiki Cove now serving skeletons

Skeletons are now welcomed at Captain Cook’s Tiki Cove on Voo Doo Island.

A previous ordinance prohibited service to them for years. Their type just can’t hold their liquor.

“It's a fact," said one of the tiki gods that serves there. "The drinks literally go right through them and all over the floor. After a while, you get tired of mopping up after them.”

Skeletons started coming in by the dozen this afternoon when the new ordinance allowing their kind in the bar went into effect. Sheila, a longtime server at Captain Cook's, said she couldn't keep the beverages coming fast enough.

“Their drinks are smoooooth,” said the first skeleton to be served.

An anonymous source said the drinks are “smoooooth” because bartenders and bartendresses are spiking them with poison to get rid of the unwanted guests. The skeletons are not liked, another source added.

“We’re already dead,” a skeleton patron said when he heard the drinks were poisoned. “We can’t die again. We just wanna get our drink on like everyone -- and everything -- else.”

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