Black Lagoon toxicity on council agenda tonight

BLACK LAGOON -- Members of the community are asked to participate tonight at the Black Lagoon District Council meeting as it relates to the toxicity of the lagoon. It seems, according to reports, that the body of water is not as toxic as it once was. Those who want to keep the swamp moving in this “clean” direction will be lynched right there at the meeting. Those who want their elected officials to actually do something about this tragic state of affairs and get the toxicity levels back up to where they’re expected to be should show up no later than midnight this evening, fill out a speaker card, and wait in line for an opportunity to voice your opinions. Once you’ve had a turn at the podium, supporters of the Toxic Lagoon Initiative Act ask that you stick around until everyone from the community has had a chance to speak, in the event a lynching is in order.