By Jack O. Lantern
'Head' Writer/Editor
SPELL WILLOWS, Witches Meadow — The fog hadn't even settled over Spell Willows this morning before camera flashes began popping beneath the ancient willow branches.
Media Day returned to Witches Meadow on Friday, giving monsters from every dark corner of Transylveinya one last chance to brag, boast and threaten humanity before tonight's Witching Hour Fest-Evil, when the Great Portals open at the stroke of midnight and unleash another Halloween season upon the human world.
By sunset, reporters, photographers and broadcasters crowded the enchanted forest, weaving between rows of witches seated behind velvet-draped tables while lines of vampires, ghosts, aliens, carnies, swamp creatures, witches and masked maniacs waited their turn to announce this year's plans.
"Media Day gives the monsters a chance to build a little ... anticipation," said Hagatha Moonshroud, this year's High Sorceress of the Moonshroud Circle. "After all, Halloween isn't just about frightening humans. It's about giving them something to look forward to all year long before we terrify them."
Tonight at exactly midnight, Hagatha and other chanting witches will gather inside Spell Willows to cast the centuries-old spells that tear open the Great Portals between Transylveinya and the human world.
That's if all goes according to plan.
It usually doesn't.
Unexpected alliances
Among the biggest surprises revealed during Media Day was an unlikely alliance between vampires and werewolves.
For generations, the two monster clans have spent more time trying to destroy one another than humans.
Not this Halloween.
"We've decided it's more efficient to work together," said Count Vladislaus, polishing an antique goblet of Type O Positive. "They chase them out of the woods. We greet them on front porches."
Beside him, Alpha Fenrir simply grinned.
"Everybody wins," one werewolf said. "Except the humans."
Nearby, witches applauded the announcement.
Clowns expanding operations
The sinister carnival crowd also promised a larger presence this Halloween after last year's successful season.
"We're taking over more pumpkin patches than ever," said ringmaster Bartholomew Blacktooth, adjusting a crimson top hat. "Hayrides, corn mazes, midway games ... humans won't know whether to laugh or scream."
His answer?
"Hopefully both."
Several haunted dolls standing nearby nodded enthusiastically.
None blinked.
Aliens invade ... differently
Representatives from the Intergalactic League of Flying Saucers said extraterrestrials would be focusing less on crop circles this season and more on Halloween decorations.
"We've already infiltrated inflatable displays," explained Ambassador Xylor of Planet Ghoom. "If your 12-foot skeleton suddenly waves back, that's probably one of ours."
Pumpkinheads organize
One of the busiest tables belonged to the Pumpkinhead Guild, which announced the formation of neighborhood decorating squads.
"We're encouraging humans to carve earlier this year," said Jake O. Lanternson, president of the guild. "The sooner the pumpkins appear, the stronger Halloween becomes."
He paused.
"And yes, we absolutely judge crooked smiles."
The countdown begins
As daylight faded, crews began hanging additional lanterns throughout Spell Willows while witches rehearsed the ancient incantations that will soon echo through the forest.
Beyond the trees, thousands of monsters quietly formed orderly lines leading toward the Great Portals.
Ghosts floated impatiently.
Skeletons checked watches they no longer needed.
Mummies practiced walking a little slower.
Even the zombies looked unusually energized.
By midnight, every one of them hopes to be in line to haunt neighborhoods, amusement parks, haunted attractions, theaters, pumpkin patches and front porches across the human world.
"The veil grows thinner every year," Hagatha said with a smile as ravens circled overhead. "And judging by today's excitement, humans seem just as eager for Halloween as we are."
The Witching Hour Fest-Evil begins tonight at midnight in Spell Willows.
Bring your courage.
You'll need it.
