Witching Hour ‘hexplodes’ to kick off Halloween season

By Hal O. Weeniscoming
Staff Halloween Spirit Writer

 

The cauldrons were bubbling over with excitement last night as the creeps and crawlers of the underworld came screeching into the human realm — just in time to kick off the 2025 Halloween season with a shriek and a shiver.

 

The annual Witching Hour Boo-nanza in Witches Meadow lit up the midnight sky at exactly 12:00 a.m. on August 1, as the Spookportals of Transylveinya were torn open by a coven of cackling spellcasters at the haunted grove known as Spell Willows.

 

“The monsterverse crowd practically exploded out of the fog — claws, wings, tentacles and all,” said Hagatha, 2025’s high sorceress of the Moonshroud Circle and chairwitch of the Boo-nanza’s Welcome Committee. “They were howling with glee, ready to haunt, hex and horrify every nook and cranny of the human world.”

• The rush was more chaotic than a cursed costume sale:
• Poltergeists didn’t wait for a haunting appointment — they floated straight into attics and basements like they owned the place.
• Scarecrows left their fields without even a whisper of a rustle.
• Vampires skipped their evening snack in favor of front porch decorating.
• Lagoon creatures skipped the swim and headed straight to party planning committees.
• Clowns — the sinister kind — piled into clown cars three weeks ahead of schedule.
• Frankensteins left bolts behind in the mad dash.
• Mummies unraveled just to travel faster.
• Witch cats teleported.
• Ghouls forgot to groan.
• Demons left their tridents in checked luggage.
• Bats flew in broad daylight, because time no longer mattered.
• Haunted dolls sat politely in airplane seats, waiting to terrify toddlers later.
• Skeleton barbers snapped their scissors shut and bolted toward salons.
• Bog monsters got a group rate on broomstick rides.

Even the ancient ones stirred — a sure sign the Halloween season is in full swing.

 

“The veil has thinned, the pumpkins are plotting, and the candy corn pumpkins are listening,” Hagatha hissed. “So, if your lights flicker, your shadows twitch, or you hear whispers from your closet … don’t worry. Just scream. It’s tradition.”

 

With the season officially cursed into motion, the countdown to All Hallows’ Eve begins. So, lock your doors (they won’t help), carve your pumpkins (they might fight back), and beware of anything that says “Trick and Treat.”

 

Because the monsters are here.

 

And they’re just dying to see you.

 

For more about the Witching Hour, the beginning of Halloween season and the monster universe in general, check out "Transylveinya Traveler," the official guide to Halloween. Dig it up on the Halloweeniacs website.

Halloween season is here!

By Hal O. Weeniscoming

Staff Halloween Spirit Writer

Monsters, ghouls and goblins were more than excited to get the Halloween season started last night, according to Witches Meadow sorceresses.

Bewitched witches opened Transylveinya’s Great Portals right at midnight at Spell Willows in Transylveinya’s Witches Meadow during The Witching Hour Fest-evil, the annual event that’s highlighted by spells and chants that take place between 12 and 1 a.m. every July 31st (technically Aug. 1) in order to open up the pathway between now and Oct. 31 from the monster universe to the human world.

“Haunters from our side were stomping, clawing and flying over each other to get to the other side and begin preparations for Halloween,” said Hagatha, one of the witches who helped organize the evening’s opening ceremonies. “These creeps were so eager to slip inside human closets, under their beds and into the shadows that many forgot their own purpose in life — or afterlife.” 

Gil men and women took speed boats. 

Mummies weren’t dragging their feet. 

The Great Pumpkin bypassed pretty much every sincere pumpkin patch. 

Evil vehicles veered around bikers and pedestrians. 

Gorgons, with locked focus on where they were headed, turned no one to stone. 

Vampires went without blood. 

Ghosts forgot to boo. 

Zombies skipped pushcart salesmonsters peddling brains. 

Deadly spiders got in no one’s hair.

Killer bees buzzed no one’s head.

Evil geniuses set aside current plans to take over the world.

Killer tomatoes rolled around obstacles.

Graboids grabbed nothing.

Skeleton can-can girls couldn’t-couldn’t dance, but ran.

Werewolves forgot to howl at the full moon.

Black cats took the path straight on.

Terminator machines forgot to say they’d be back.

And giant apes, oversized insects and humongous reptiles passed up perfectly good skyscrapers. 

“Yup, it’s unsafe to say that the monsters of Halloween are headed to the human world with a vengeance,” Hagatha said. “Humans, beware. Halloween season is here!”

‘Halloweeniacs’ podcast will get you into the Halloween mood

By Hal O. Weeniscoming

Staff Halloween Spirit Writer

It’s the 31st! August 31st!

That means there’s a new “Halloweeniacs” podcast from the guys who do the Jack-o’-Lantern Press Podcast and the guys who do the Nightmare365 Podcast. It also means The Witching Hour is tonight. 

“Tom and I love to hang out with Matt and Greg from Nightmare365.com every 31st of every month that has a 31st and talk Halloween,” said JacoLanternPress.com’s Michael Picarella. “This was the first show we did together on the eve of The Witching Hour. Well, I take that back. Greg wasn’t there with us when we recorded this episode. He was still pretty beat from his visit yesterday as Sam from “Trick ‘r Treat” at the grand opening of this year’s Spirit Halloween flagship store in Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey. He was sharing the Halloween spirit and having a playdate with those he could converse with best.”

Nevertheless, in this podcast episode of "Halloweeniacs" (click here for episode 99), Mike, Tom and Matt talk about the official beginning of the Halloween season that will take place tonight, and what they’ve done, what they do, and what they will do to properly get into the mood for All Hallows’ Eve. 

Join them in the discussion. We promise there will be plenty of pain and agony — essentially a great time! 

And let the guys know what you think are the best ways to get into the spirit. Email the podcast here or call the show’s Pumpkin Hotline at 323-762-0276. 

And now, what are you waiting for? It’s Halloween time!

Biggest Witching Hour Fest ever!

By Jack O. Lantern

‘Head’ Writer/Editor

WITCHES MEADOW -- The monster revolution has begun.

A record number of creeps, ghosts, goblins and monsters started showing up for this year’s Witching Hour Fest-evil early yesterday evening in Spell Willows, and they’re eagerly awaiting the opening of the Great Portals tonight at midnight so they can cross through them, from the monster world and into the human world, in preparation for Halloween.

 “I just bought a copy of ‘Transylveinya Traveler: A Travel Guide for Monsters, Ghosts, Vampires, Aliens, Werewolves,Witches, Zombies, Demons … And Mad Scientists, Too,’ and even though I’m a monster and have lived in Transylveinya my whole afterlife, I discovered so much about my homeland that I never knew existed,” said The Creeper, a native and longtime haunter of the Black Lagoon. “It also inspired me to face my fears — and my other peers — and finally take a trip through the portals to the human world to celebrate Halloween the way it was meant to be celebrated, and that’s by scaring the crud out of people on their own turf.”

Tonight, Media Night, all of Transylveinya’s biggest and baddest monsters were out to pose for the papa-RAH!-zzi and other media before kicking off the Halloween season. And they took in the many activities and visited the dozens and dozens of booths the Fest-evil has to offer.

Here are some of the new additions to this year’s Witching Hour Fest-evil:

Zombie Booth: Fresh brains from grave to table.

Gremlins Tent: All those things you lost over the years (that’s the work of gremlins) can now be recovered here. Are you still looking for those keys that went missing, that orphan sock or that prized Price Club membership card from the 1980s? This booth has been drawing lines around the swamp all night.

Jack-o’-Lantern Park Shuttle: Due to numerous complaints last year about Uber/Lyft tractor rides not getting paying customers from Jack-o’-Lantern Park to the fest on time, werewolves implemented this new shuttle service to solve the problem. Now paying customers from The Park can get to the fest much faster. Just probably not in one piece.

Zoltar Five-Questions-Or-Less Fortune Reader: For years, hundreds of fest guests never got the chance to hear or have their fortunes read at the psychic tents. The lines were longer than those for the Gremlins Tent this evening, and unhappy monsters demanded five-questions-or-less lanes. Well, now they got it. A Zoltar machine with a limit of five questions is now open for business. Working soothsayers on the row, however, say there’s no future in it.

Drac and Van Back to Back: Due to space constraints at the Fest-evil grounds, a growing problem from year to year, Drac’s Blood Donation Station and Van Helsing’s School of Vampire Hunters shared a booth. This season, Helsing is offering money-back guarantees to those enrolled who do not find vampires.

“Yeah, the monster revolution has definitely begun,” said one of the witches who will be participating in the séances this evening. “It’s a new night, with lots of new fun here, and monsters are celebrating their evil. It’s really gonna be a great Halloween!”

And while Pennywise the clown and Godzilla were walking the green, muddy carpet, signing autographs and taking selfies with fans, the real excitement came earlier in the evening when the Jack-o’-Lantern Press Podcast showed up on the scene to record a new episode during the fest, which will post after the Great Portals open tonight. Make sure you subscribe so you can get the episode as soon as it drops. To check out the show on Apple Podcasts, click HERE. Those who use Spotify, click THIS. The podcast is also available elsewhere. Just search.

You’ll also want to check back with us here on JackoLanternPress.com. This is our fifth season of stories. We’ll report news and entertainment here, as well as our latest podcast episodes, weekdays from now until October 31st. We’ll also be launching our newly-designed website very soon.

It’s time to MONSTER UP. The Halloween season is here!

Mad scientist loses child at fest-evil

By Jack O. Lantern

‘Head’ Writer/Editor

WITCHES MEADOW -- A mad scientist lost her hand-made child at the annual Witching Hour Fest-evil this evening. Just before the actual Witching Hour ceremonies at midnight when witches open the Great Portals to the human world so monsters, ghouls and goblins can start heading into the human world for the Halloween season, the child went missing. Record crowds began showing up in Spell Willows Tuesday night for Media Night and aided in the confusion. Monsters of all kinds mobbed their way into Wicked Forest and to the Black Cauldron Encampment and the Great Portals around 10 this evening, and in doing so, crushed several creatures against trees, rock walls, various structures and into the ground as the masses grew by the hundreds in what’s being dubbed “the monster revolution.” The mad scientist that lost her baby was hysterical with tears when she turned and couldn’t find her kid. “I’m so happy for the little guy,” she said. “I only wish I was able to experience such dread and separation when I was too young to crawl.” The young mother was planning more acts of terror for others to try to withstand this Halloween season as she lined up to be transported into the human world. This mad scientist with all her carelessness has proven once again that the natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. Let the generous acts of scaring begin.

Monsters celebrate Witching Hour with annual fest-evil

By Jack O. Lantern

‘Head’ Writer/Editor

WITCHES MEADOW -- Hundreds celebrated the Witching Hour at the Black Cauldron Encampment in Witches Meadow at midnight last night and into the morning.

Several witches, including the Orange Witch, cast a giant, evil spell to open portals into the human world for the upcoming Halloween season. At around 12:17 a.m., monsters began going through the portals to prepare for spooking.

“It’s just so awful too see the whole Transyl-vein-ian community come together,” Mad Science District resident, Mad Man, said. “Everything draws everyone together these nights, so it’s just bad seeing everyone together in the worst possible way to have wicked fun with their hordes or clans or werewolf packs. It’s great!”

Activities kicked off during Media Night yesterday evening with a vampire bat barbecue, dead bands and more than 30 villainous vendors.

Of course, the night means more than just doom in the gloom. We celebrate the Witching Hour to express and give chills for our ability to scare the living daylights out of people.

“A lot of monsters, ghouls and goblins are here enjoying the holiday, but there’s a significant reason for the Witching Hour,” said a Bigfoot National Park slasher psycho wielding a giant machete and an idling chainsaw, waiting to enter a portal. “I think it’s really important that we as monsters of Transyl-vein-ia really participate in the Witching Hour celebration and just remember what it’s all about: Halloween and causing great harm to people in their world during the Halloween season."

Media Night tips off Jack-o’-Lantern Press’s 2017 season

By Jack O. Lantern

‘Head’ Writer/Editor

WITCHES MEADOW -- It’s been a busy night as Jack-o’-Lantern Press journalists have been preparing for the 2017 season of monster news and entertainment. They’re also getting ready for a three-month journey through the 13 districts of Transyl-vein-ia as research for an upcoming guidebook of the land called “The Transyl-vein-ia Traveler: A Travel Guide For Monsters, Ghosts, Vampires, Aliens, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies, Demons And Mad Scientists, Too.”

Transyl-vein-ia’s Witches Meadow is “the” hot spot for the Witching Hour at midnight, and our reporters have been there to catch the action.

“We seen monster folks show’n’ up at the Black Cauldron Encampment as early as dawn (ribbit) on Saturday for a good spot ‘n the mud,” said a big ugly toad. “They don’t wanna miss (ribbit) the big gala. I’m glad I live ‘n the mud. I was born with a (ribbit) good seat fer the show. (ribbit)”

The “big gala” that the big ugly toad was referring to is, of course, the Witching Hour, where witches will cast their spell to open the portals for monsters to enter and cross into the human world during the Halloween season.

“We arrived this evening to a very packed Witches Meadow,” said reporter Vin “Skull” Eek. “We checked out the witches booths where you could pick up brooms, spells, tails of rats and other fun things like that, then we sat down with some of the sorceresses to perform spells tonight and talked about a variety of topics with them, including the Orange Witch and her first appearance in Witching Hour attire alongside her new fellow witch mates. It’s gonna be spellbinding.”

Earlier this month, the Orange Witch announced that she’d leave her little cauldron at the Hooked Nose Cackle Factory, where she did stand-up comedy for 100 years, to perform on a much bigger stage tonight for the Witching Hour. Critics called her the Kevin Durant of the witching game, joining a team of winners instead of building a success of her own at the Factory. Unfortunately (and not in a good way), attendance has been down at the Factory since the Blue Witch cast an evil spell on stage late last year and “bombed.”

“I’m ready to start a new chapter in my life,” the Orange Witch said regarding her move to center stage this evening. “I just want to do what I do best, and that’s cast wicked spells that are doom for the whole family.”

Much of the excitement this evening is for the new season of Jack-o’-Lantern Press material and the trip reporters will take to research the upcoming travel guide.

“We’re basically going to spend a week in each of the 13 Transyl-vein-ia districts up until Halloween,” Eek said, “speaking and howling with the locals, and pulling together all our research to create a guidebook for those who either want to travel to Transyl-vein-ia or those who live here but have never really stepped outside their castle or swamp or cave to see the world around them. Each week, Monday through Friday, we’ll report on some of what we discover. Some stuff will only be on the Jack-o’-Lantern Press blog, and some stuff will only appear in the new book. Some stuff will be in both publications. And some stuff we’ll just leave out.”

This first week will offer coverage from Witches Meadow, followed by stories from Downtown Transyl-vein-ia, the Mad Science District, Transyl-vein-ia Hills, Werewolftown, Bigfoot National Park, The Carpathian Mountains, Shadow City, Monster Island, the Black Lagoon, Valley of Doom, UFO Springs and finally Jack-o’-Lantern Park.

But in the meantime, everyone and everything is focused on the festivities to take place tonight. With everyone in bad spirits (and with bad spirits swirling all about), reporter ghouls and goblins with time (and victims) to kill took the opportunity to show off their goofy side at the Witches Unsocial Media Station set up in the Encampment.

With selfie sticks, cameras, some monster bobbleheads and a stack of oversized plastic emojis, the Jack-o’-Lantern Press zombie, alien and demon reporters had some fun by flooding unsocial media with cursed pictures and videos that, after seeing, will kill you seven days later. Like we said, they were showing off their goofy side.

So check out our blog Monday through Friday, August through Halloween, as we bring you monster news and entertainment from Transyl-vein-ia in preparation for Halloween 2017.

Happy Witching Hour!

Wicked Witch has wardrobe malfunction during Witching Hour last night

By Vin “Skull” Eek

Staff Spooks Writer

The Wicked Witch of the North set off a Witching Hour firestorm last night at the annual Witching Hour festival in Spell Willows when her right breast was bared during the nationally televised opening ceremonies, which she performed with the wicked witches of the south, east and west.

The northern oldie was casting her big spell at about 12:10 a.m. in the Black Cauldron Encampment so that she and her sisters could transport monsters out of our dimension and into the human world for the Halloween season when she tossed a toad into her cauldron and lost her gown in a whirlwind of fiery witch magic. She later apologized for the incident and laid blame on her gown designer, Edith Headless.

“No, this was not an attempt to gain attention in the media,” North said. “It was a wardrobe malfunction.”

The Witching Hour festival began at around 11:30 last night when North and the other witches opened the portals to the human world. At midnight, they began casting spells around their cauldrons and were inviting The Original Mummy up to the main portal for the ceremonial first transportation.

“I haven’t been out haunting the human world since the Halloween season of ‘86,” Original said as he approached the portal. “Thank you all for giving me the first transportation. I’ll see you on the other side.”

That’s when North tossed that warty toad into her brew and her gown fell to the ground. Even mass mutilators, whom you’d think have seen it all, were shielding their eyes in great pain.

“I got nothing against North,” said a slasher psycho who wished to remain anonymous, “but she’s over three-hundred years old. Nothing can prepare you for what we saw. Nothing.”

North got the gown back on quickly, but the split–second exposure, witnessed by up to 100 million viewers, including those who were watching on their TV sets from their castles, tombs and haunted mansions, was enough to cause uproar.

“Ouwwww!” cried a pack of werewolves who were waiting their turn to be transported last night. But most monsters that witnessed the unveiling were upset. The Transyl-vein-ia TV switchboard was flooded with angry calls.

“I am outraged at the opening ceremonies of the Witching Hour,” one mother of several vampires wrote. “There was no warning whatsoever that it may not be appropriate for children who haven’t even see bare necks yet. I’m still feeding my babies their blood from a bottle.”

After a bit of chaos, the Witching Hour ceremonies eventually continued, the Original Mummy was sent off to the Human world, and other monsters were quick to follow.

North said she’d address the matter by turning her gown designer into a bug. Transyl-vein-ia TV officials said they’d put live presentations on a delay next time so that they’d have a chance to black out the broadcast if something like that were to happen again.

The festival will continue throughout the week as a record number of monsters are expected to travel to the human dimension to scare people for this Halloween season.