By Jack O. Lantern
‘Head’ Writer/Editor
WITCHES MEADOW -- Ouch, that hurt!
During the Witching Hour fest-evilties a few minutes after midnight last night in Spell Willows, where bewitched witches once again opened Transylveinya’s Great Portals to the human world for the Halloween season, a carny stepped out of line on his way up the winding path to the magical pathway and smacked one of the singing sorcerers.
“Keep my wife’s name out your chanting mouth!” the carny then yelled before cutting back into line a few spaces ahead of where he previously waited.
The smacked witch had been knee-deep in one of the spells that opens the Great Portals and keeps them ajar for the Halloween season as haunters from Transylveinya head over to the human world to crawl under beds, creep into closets and lurk behind corners and bushes.
“Double, double toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble,” the witch had shouted. Evidently, the circus man’s wife’s name is Bubbles.
Perhaps going through a rough patch in his life, the carny, identified as one Mr. Indrasil with the Farnum & Williams’ All-American 3-Ring Circus and Side Show, refused to speak with Jack-o’-Lantern Press on the grounds that we needed to eff off.
Mr. Indrasil then joined hundreds of other creepy carnival cast members who lined up in Witches Meadow last night, and slipped through a portal with no consequences for his actions. He and his fellow carnies will take over evil big tops and freaky fairs in the human world throughout the season.
Many of those unsavory types are chronicled in a new paperback horror anthology from Cemetery Dance Publications called “Midnight Under the Big Top,” which you can find HERE, edited by Brian James Freeman. You can even read about Mr. Indrasil himself in a tale called “The Night of the Tiger,” as told by master storyteller Stephen King, which kicks off the collection.
The group of carnies is only one of the super teams that departed for the human world last night. During Media Day yesterday before the Witching Hour Fest-evil in Witches Meadow, multiple monsters had been clapping up their own crews and sharing with JLP what they have in store for humans this year.
How about aliens and Martians coming together this Halloween season to haunt humans? Scary Monsters magazine just dropped their summer 2023 “not-of-this-world issue,” featuring stories about life forms outside Earth of “all sizes and shapes with intentions good and bad,” as described by publisher/editor Don A. Smeraldi. In our view, Mr. Smeraldi, bad is always good. Check out the magazine HERE and learn more about some of the most extra extraterrestrials and their exploits to take over the third rock from the sun.
Or what about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde coming together with the Phantom of the Opera, the Hunchback of Notre Dame and the Invisible Man in mazes this year at Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights? That’s a juggernaut of a squad! Dr. Jekyll told JLP that their maze will kill. Mr. Hyde just screamed at us, and the Invisible Man laughed. We couldn’t make out any of Hunchback’s grunts. Check out what Halloween Horror Nights is scaring up HERE. Other mazes at Universal’s American parks include “Chucky: Ultimate Kill Count,” “The Exorcist: Believer” and “Stranger Things 4.”
Oogie Boogie Man is carrying his team on his back with Disneyland Resort fans lining up to see him during the Oogie Boogie Bash, a Halloween after-hours party that takes place throughout the month of October in Disney California Adventure. Are you excited to join the festivities? That’s great. The event sold out! Like Taylor Swift, Disney’s singin’ and dancin’ bag of worms reportedly broke the ticketing system and, according to a mid-July report from KTLA 5, sales were done “on the first day tickets were available.” You can always head over to Disneyland to catch one of the lonesome ghosts from the famous Mickey Mouse cartoon fittingly titled “Lonesome Ghosts.” Said ghost is trapped in a mirror and will greet you while in line for the not-to-be-missed “Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway” attraction.
But if that’s not enough to satisfy your ghoulish needs, not to fear. Those seeking some freaky fun who live in the L.A. area (or who otherwise don’t mind the trip) should check out the Mystic Museum right HERE, located in Boobank — sorry, Burbank — CA. One of the current exhibits there is the horror immersive experience “Y2 Kills,” a celebration of horror films from the 2000s. The museum also offers “The Lost Toys” vintage horror toy exhibit, but you’ll have to check that out in a hurry — the last day to see that is Aug. 6.
Other Transylveinya monsters of all types who began passing through the Great Portals to the human world during the Witching Hour last night told JLP that they had plans of spending the entire Halloween season in a variety of haunts being offered for so-called “entertainment” purposes.
Knott’s Scary Farm is celebrating its 50th year, their website proclaiming the venue as the “longest-running and most haunting Halloween theme park in Southern California” and boasting “more than 1,000 horrifying creatures lurking in the fog and hiding across every inch of the park.” This year’s haunt is to include 10 frightening mazes, five sinister scare zones and four hair-raising shows. Click HERE for more information.
To find other haunts across the U.S. that monsters will be frequenting for the season, check out HauntWorld.com HERE, where you can also read haunt reviews. TheScareFactor.com HERE is also a good resource that lists haunts and haunted house reviews across the Midwest and New England.
But for those who don’t want to be so up close and personal with their fellow monsters, perhaps a view from behind a screen is preferred. Ghosts, demons, vampires, killer dolls, maniacal machines, werewolves, psychopaths … teenagers! can all be found on both the big and small screen. Rotten Tomatoes listed new horror movies coming this Halloween season HERE. New horror, thriller and supernatural movies are streaming each week on Shudder HERE. And have you heard about Screambox yet? CableTV.com wrote in July that Shudder was still the best horror streaming service, but that Screambox is “breathing down Shudder’s neck.” Check it out HERE.
There’s so much more to expect from monsters who are invading the human world this Halloween season. JLP hopes to be your guide from now until October 31st. We plan to post our typical news stories from the monster universe and their goings-on in the human world, including our monster obits, but we’re also hoping to bring you monster movie reviews, our takes on some classic “sounds of Halloween” albums, spooky tales, interviews with those who live in or dabble in the monster world, as well as feature stories about these people and/or creatures. And we might even offer some commentary and analyses on things that go bump in the night. So, keep JLP bookmarked in your browser.
As always, JLP fans can continue to expect discussions about monsters and Halloween on the “Jack-o’-Lantern Press Podcast” with brothers Michael and Tom Picarella, and topics about all things Halloween on the 31st of every month that has a 31st on the podcast series “Halloweeniacs,” where Mike and Tom join brothers Matt and Greg Douglas from Nightmare365.
As the excitement for the upcoming Halloween season continued to grow while monsters endlessly filed through the Great Portals last night in Spell Willows, JLP did have to call it a night at some point. The monster news source’s last interview before putting this one to bed was with a lone carny named Annabelle, a girl in her teens wearing a dress striped in green, yellow, red and blue like a circus big top. She stood in line far behind her fellow carnies, who’d gone through to the human world hours before.
Asked why she wasn’t with the rest of her carny group, she said she’d no doubt catch up with them later in the human world, that she and her family on the other side “wouldn’t miss it.” She was very cryptic about it all. She mentioned her story that’s featured in the “Midnight Under the Big Top” horror anthology as a bit of a clue. JLP hasn’t read the tale to see what delicious evil she might have in store … Ah, here’s the story now — “The Girl in the Carnival Gown” by Kelley Armstrong …
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