Review: A look back at John Carpenter's 'Christine'

 

This week in Jack-o’-Lantern Press, we’ve been honing in on that which isn’t what it appears to be — clowns who aren’t so comical and man’s best friend who’s instead a fatal fiend. Today, movie reviewer Dan Cook investigates one cool car … or is this red beauty a killer, too?

CHRISTINE (1983)

DVD collection

“Halloween” meets “Herbie” in “Christine,” John Carpenter’s thrilling 1983 adaptation of Stephen King’s hot-headed novel about a boy and his car. Filmed and distributed just eight months following the book’s publication, this strange yet highly entertaining sci-fi shocker may have been released in the same year as other popular King-inspired pictures such as Lewis Teague’s “Cujo” and David Cronenberg’s “The Dead Zone.” However, thanks to its terrific performances, stellar direction, hypnotic score and time-bending special effects that still impress to this day, “Christine” manages to drive its way to the head of the pack. 

Keith Gordon is excellent in the leading role of Arnie Cunningham, a nebbish high-school student whose life irrevocably changes when he impulsively buys a wrecked Plymouth Fury whose twisted chassis houses an entity that, unbeknownst to him, holds an obsessive power over its unsuspecting owner as well as a murderous jealousy over those around him. 

While it may not be the best of his written works, Stephen King’s original book still has a weirdness and unpredictability to it that makes it, like most of his stuff, compulsive reading, and the film, for the most part, does a very good job of maintaining its odd yet ferocious charm. Thankfully streamlining the bulky novel by omitting it’s more outlandish subplots and overt paranormal reasonings, Bill Phillip’s memorable screenplay manages to adapt King’s near 600-page novel into a 100-minute picture without losing any of the twisted fun that made the original story both a popular and controversial literary hit.

The performances, as mentioned earlier, are great — especially that of Keith Gordon who brings a believable naivety to the increasingly unlikeable character of Arnie. Just as convincing as a wide-eyed sociopath as he is a nerdy outcast who regularly falls foul of the local bullies, Gordon completely excels here and, in the process, delivers one of the very performances to be found in any John Carpenter film. Meanwhile, John Stockwell is very good in the role of Arnie’s best friend Dennis while the usually avuncular pairing of Roberts Blossom and Robert Prosky are uncharacteristically vulgar as the previous owner of Christine and a tobacco-chewing mechanic respectively.

However, the real star of the show is, of course, Christine and my, what an impressive machine she is. Ostensibly a mad slasher on four wheels, she is a dazzling yet deadly beast of burden, and Carpenter does a stellar job of making her both visually appealing and threatening — anthropomorphising the car in such a way that she becomes just as much of a character as the unlucky humans caught in her piercing headlights. The stunt driving is, of course, impressive, and the numerous nighttime chase sequences are suitably heart-pounding — one of which features the image of Christine chasing after her next victim while engulfed in flames, easily one of the greatest shots in any ‘80s horror film. But it is when she miraculously repairs herself after taking otherwise irreparable damage, a moment of pure cinema magic masterfully conjured by the combination of incredible visual effects by Roy Arbogast and seamless reverse photography, that the car really cements its place in the rogues gallery of 1980s villains. 

Like the titular vehicle, “Christine” is not without its flaws. The ending is a bit rushed and some of the deaths are disappointingly less spectacular than those written about in the book. However, this is still a thrilling and highly enjoyable petrol-fuelled adrenaline rush that sees Carpenter at the height of his powers both as a director and composer of horror.

Dan Cook is a movie reviewer on Letterboxd, and he also posts his reviews on Facebook. He’s a self-proclaimed film fanatic, avid reader and retro gamer who lives in Dudley, England, with his wife, Sam, and their two daughters.

Happy Alien Day 2023! Or: What Am I Going to Do Today?

By Michael Picarella Staff ‘Human World’ Columnist

I was up at 12:02 this morning. Two minutes into Alien Day and still no chestburster.

April 26th (4-26 draws its origins from the 1979 film “Alien” and the exomoon “LV-426” where alien life is discovered) has become a day I actually look forward to each year. It’s kicked off with a bouncing baby chestburster that comes ripping and tearing out of some poor fool’s chest a la the scene in “Alien” where USCSS Nostromo Executive Officer Thomas Kane, who is previously attacked and impregnated by a facehugger, “gives birth” to a chestburster. The little darling screeches “Surprise!” before scurrying off to grow into a full-size Xenomorph, which then — and always — attempts to eliminate the human species. At 12:04 this morning, I was more than eager to get this party started.

Call me weird. It’s OK, I’m proud of the description. But I wholeheartedly celebrate Alien Day. I’ll typically watch an Alien movie or two. Maybe I’ll read some sort of comic book with aliens or martians. One year I listened to the first few episodes of the “Strange Arrivals” podcast about the mysterious 1961 alien encounter and abduction as experienced by Betty and Barney Hill.

This year, as I tossed and turned in bed — anticipating that first chestburster — I thought about what I’d watch or read ... or do(!) for Alien Day. Probably a victim of ADHD (never diagnosed), I needed something that wouldn’t take me days to consume. In other words, I didn’t want some long TV or podcast series or Stephen King-sized novel that requires weeks if not months to complete. You see, as I previously alluded to, my interests change on a dime — Sasquatch! Seriously, I’m already thinking about chupacabra for Cinco de Mayo. Gotta watch “Chupacabra vs. the Alamo” with Erik Estrada every 5th day of May. Love that movie and all its cheesy goodness!

But I digress. 

I need something just for the day only, I thought. Alien short stories would be cool. 

I’ve recently been growing my collection of short-story anthologies. Those that have piqued my interest are the ones collected by theme. For example, I just bought one collection called “Flight or Fright: 17 Turbulent Tales,” edited by Stephen King and Bev Vincent, which is an anthology that, as described on Amazon, is about “all things that can go horribly wrong when you’re suspended six miles in the air, hurtling through space at more than 500 mph, and sealed up in a metal tube (like — gulp! — a coffin) with hundreds of strangers.” I purchased that book just before boarding a plane over spring break. Doesn’t that sound like fun? (Got the strangest looks when people saw what I was reading in the airport.)

Then there’s “Fearful Fathoms (Seas and Oceans)” and “Fearful Fathoms II (Lakes and Other Bodies).” I spent a couple years during my childhood living near a lake. That second collection of horror stories is a real treat that brings me back to those days when I knew for a fact that something lay beneath my swimming feet. I especially like these books of terror when planning trips to the water.

I’ve also got Halloween anthologies (I had fun with Ronald Kelly’s “The Halloween Store and Other Tales of All Hallows’ Eve”), a werewolf short story collection, one with noir stories, another with stories about mad scientists, and yet another with tales of terrifying Christmas monsters from around the world (obviously for Christmas time only). 

There’s another really cool anthology called “Hell Comes to Hollywood” for when I’m thinking about my time in Tinseltown, and I have two other collections that I like to turn to when I’m taking long drives on the interstate where I’m forced to share lanes with those road-hogging truck drivers (God, I love ‘em!): “18 Wheels of Horror” and “18 Wheels of Science Fiction.” Who doesn’t want a trailer full of trucking terrors and fantastic fiction?

Oh, I’ve still got more collections. There’s “Ghosts” for when I’m home alone at night and the rain is slashing away at the window panes, or “The World of Mystery Fiction” for when I’m itching to solve a crime. 

I recently picked up a zombie short story anthology called “The New Dead” that I’ve yet to sink my teeth into. And I’ve got another one I’m still waiting for in the mail from Cemetery Dance Publications called “Midnight Under the Big Top,” which is described as “the world’s grandest tales of murder, madness and magic set in and around the circus.” Bunch of clowns.

But, as I try to reel this thing back in, I have no alien short story anthologies. That would’ve been the perfect antidote for what I was feeling this Alien Day morning! I could’ve gotten up and out of bed for a 15- or 20-minute story, then maybe devoured a few tales throughout the day as I ate breakfast or took down my lunch. 

And as I rolled over yet again to check the time — 12:07 — the thing I was waiting for happened. A chestburster! I’d just remembered a book I received in a Halloween box I got from a friend last year: “Sightings: UFOs” by Susan Michaels. This is a collection of stories drawn from the 1990s syndicated television program “Sightings” that, as it reads on Amazon, “recounts the purportedly real encounters of humans with extraterrestrials.” 

And so, with the first Xenomorph of the day out and on the warpath, I cracked open my reading for the day and began with: “There were more reported sightings of UFOs in 1952 than in any other year before or since ...” and the story of the great lights over our nation’s capital back when, as Michaels writes, “air-raid shelters were replacing the backyard barbecue as suburbia’s most sought-after home accessory.” My morning reading: “Saucers Over Washington.”

Happy Alien Day to you and yours! May it be out of this world.

Podcast shares gift ideas for your lists to Franken Claws

By Franken Claws

Staff Horrorday Writer

I’ll keep this short ... Have a happy horrific holiday with this special podcast HERE about me from the Jack-o’Lantern Press Podcast! Send me your lists. And don’t forget to put out those Sant-o’-lanterns.

JLP Podcast takes a spin in some haunted vehicles

By Tulayne Blaktop Staff Roads Writer

Choose the haunted vehicle of your choice, climb inside and hold on tight. You’ve got the pink slip. The vehicle’s got you! 

The Jack-o’-Lantern Press Podcast celebrates this Monster Monday with episode 98 right here about the haunted vehicle.

“During the show,” said podcast co-host Michael Picarella in a recent interview with JLP, “my brother Tom and I take a look at a list of scary cars from BloodyDisgusting.com, and you can play along with us as we decide if he and I agree with this list or if the list is seriously missing some key scary vehicles.”

Here’s the BloodyDisgusting.com article.

Join Mike and Tom on the podcast as they board Doombuggies and explore and test drive some of the coolest haunted vehicles to hit the road and beyond.

Oh, and if you’re into Doombuggies, check out this brief history of the ride vehicles right here on Doombuggies.com.

Before Mike gets into his history, Tom brings up a Haunted Mansion coffee mug he’s drinking from, though, in the show, it almost sounds like he’s drinking from an “Alice in Wonderland” Mad Hatter cup. Here’s what he’s really talking about:

As for history, Mike covers vehicles that receive their curses mysteriously…

Then there are those, he says, where extraterrestrial forces provide the terror…

He also shares how some vehicles just make drivers go mad, as seen in this classic Goofy cartoon you watch here on YouTube called “Motor Mania”... 

And let’s not forget about vehicles that are from another dimension…  

Mike goes into a more thorough history of the haunted vehicle as he shares how the one in R.L. Stine’s book “The Haunted Car” came to be. Check out “The Haunted Car” here and also the “Goosebumps Monster Survival Guide” that Mike reads from in this part of the show.

Tom talks about strengths and weaknesses of various haunted vehicles, and he covers the surface on those vehicles where the horror is engineered, which he pulls from the following books by author and roboticist Daniel H. Wilson:

- “How to Survive a Robot Uprising”

- “How to Build a Robot Army”

- “Where’s My Jetpack”

There’s a list of types of haunted vehicles Tom gives during the podcast that could probably use some more exploration. He combined various lists for his list, which causes a bit of confusion in the show and forces an intermission — it’s reason for some intermission music, anyway. Here’s a link to a page that has a lot of that information that Tom shares.

Oh, and for that history of James Dean's Porsche 550 Spyder that Tom mentions, check out this article about it.

Mike lists more movies, TV shows and books than he normally does on these Monster Mondays. Here are the movies he mentions (with links to where you can stream them), some suggested by sponsor CJ Brezensky from the “Found This” YouTube channel:

- “Duel” (1971)

- “The Car” (1977)

- “Christine” (1983)

- “The Hearse” (1980)

- “Crash” (1976)

- “The Wraith” (1986)

- “Wheels of Terror” (1990)

- “Rubber” (2010)

- “Killdozer” (1974)

- “Maximum Overdrive” (1986)

- “The Car: Road to Revenge” (2019)

- “Goosebumps” (2015)

Here are the books Mike mentions:

- “18 Wheels of Horror”

- “18 Wheels of Science Fiction”

And here’s some TV content Mike rattles off:

- Goofy in “Motor Mania” (1950)

- “Catching Cold” from “R.L. Stine’s Haunting Hour” (2011)

- “Groovie Goolies” (1970)

- “Scooby-Doo and the Goblin King” (2008)

BONUS CONTENT: Mike forgot to bring up a haunted vehicle from a cartoon worth mentioning. Back in 1968, Hanna-Barbera created the cartoon "Wacky Races," totally worth digging up. Each cartoon was a race between 11 race-car teams, including the Gruesome Twosome in the Creepy Coupe.

You can find out more about the Coupe in this article about all 11 vehicles in the show. And you can also purchase some cool Creepy Coupe merch — the car here or a coffee mug here or cool shirt here.

But back to the podcast: Mike also talks about where in Transylveinya listeners are most likely gonna find haunted vehicles. Listen to what he says, then find out how to get to those locales by first purchasing “Transylveinya Traveler” from JackoLanternPress.com or Amazon.

Here's that BloodyDisgusting.com article again for when exploring the most famous cars in horror. Do you agree with the article’s top 13? Do you agree with Mike and Tom’s picks?

To end the show, Mike and Tom share a few cool “haunted vehicle” items you can buy. There’s “The Car” toy car here.

Here’s Vintage Spooky Company’s Spook Bus.

And here’s the Ghostbuster’s Lego kit Tom talks about.

Overall, this is a longer Monster Mondays episode than usual, but, like the haunted vehicles Mike and Tom talk about, it keeps on moving.

Sponsors of this show include CJ Brezensky’s YouTube channel “Found This” right here and, of course, Nightmare365.com.

To add to the conversation, go to the Monster Revolution Facebook group page and tell us what you think. Don’t be shy. The monster revolution is upon us! In fact, that vehicle you’re sitting in should get you there in no time, so step on it.