Famous Quotes: King Kong

“Some monsters look for a scary place. Others make a place scary.”

Famous Quotes: Count Dracula

“Try to be a rain cloud in someone’s blue sky.”

Cannibals in a hurry, too

MONSTER ISLANDS — Three cannibals were spotted yesterday at a track meet in the Cannibal Rainforest. They wanted fast food.

Celebrate the beginning of the Halloween season with a timeless classic

WITCHES MEADOW -- With the Great Portals open between the monster universe and the human world following the Witching Hour Fest-evil on Sunday, monsters have been steadily crossing over to the human world in preparation for Halloween. The editors of JLP thought it appropriate to dig back into the archives of the Jack-o’-Lantern Press Podcast and revisit the time-honored episode from July 31, 2019, where hosts Michael Picarella and Tom Picarella visit the Witching Hour Fest-evil in Witches Meadow and share their favorite dungeon experiences. Click HERE to hear the show. And be sure to listen to all the latest episodes as well. The Picarella brothers are currently at work on episode 88, working very hard to bring the world of monsters and Halloween to your headphones or stereo or whatever system you use to listen to stuff. That’s right, there are currently 87 episodes! Mike and Tom have tussled tirelessly to bring these to you. They work regularly to create new content. They’re incessantly at work on these things. Except they haven’t been doing so much lately. They’re taking a little break. They’re pretty busy with other stuff. They’re getting around to new episodes. We’re not sure when the next one will drop, but it’s coming. As soon as they get around to it. They’re very busy.

Mayhem monkeys attack afternoon adventurers

MONSTER ISLANDS -- A small group of mayhem monkeys attacked a couple of human adventurers yesterday afternoon who were heading up the Junk River in a small fishing boat. These primates are dimwits. They stole the couple’s pogo stick and ate it, bounced up and down on their boat, and tried driving their picnic basket down the river.

Pandemonium ensues during start of Halloween season

WITCHES MEADOW—The Halloween season began last night at midnight with the opening of the Great Portals during the annual Witching Hour Fest-evil. Creatures, ghosts and other what-have-yous from all 13 districts of Transylveinya had been packing into Spell Willows for nights to be the first to cross through the portals from the monster universe to the human world. These wicked haunters didn’t care to enjoy performances by the Phantom of the Opera, who performed his new organ album live at the event for the first time ever, nor did they care to give the Gorgan Sisters the time of night when they sang their popular “Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t Ma’ Boogie Man.” Reports state that there was no order leading up to the annual ritual of opening the Great Portals, no listening to others, no manners. In other words it was utter chaos and a fantastic way to start the Halloween season. Here we go! It’s Halloween time!

Early campers already showing up for Witching Hour

WITCHES MEADOW — The three Stygian witches began setting up camp last night for the big Witching Hour Fest-evil that’s set to take place next Sat., July 31. The three sisters are not the witches who will open the Great Portals between the monster universe and the human world for monsters to pass through during the Halloween season between Aug. 1 and Oct. 31, but rather spectator witches who simply want a good spot where they can see all the action. Yes, the Stygian witches are all still blind. They’re not the brightest either. They set up camp about 12 miles from the event site.