Rossella,
a killer tomato known originally for being a traditionally docile fruit, was
sliced, diced and then puréed after rolling
over innocent people, pets, perfectly good vehicles and small buildings late
last night in the Pushcart District of Downtown Transylveinya. Rossella had
devoted her life to steamrolling and human cuisine. Loved ones are invited to
pay their respects to the killer tomato this evening in the neighborhood’s
Anti-Social Club for a warm vigil and plenty of tasty tomato juice.
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