Author Jack Torrance back from Overlook Hotel, new novel a meticulous work of prose

By Red Rum

Staff Litter-ature Writer

In the late 1970s, author Jack Torrance went up to the Overlook Hotel in Sidewinder, COLO, to write the great American novel. He never returned.

The wait is finally over. Jack is, in fact, back, and his book, “Dull Boy,” is finished. Critics are calling it a masterpiece.

“Just read the first line of the piece,” said Jack-o’-Lantern Press "things" reviewer Werewolf Howler, who’s been howling nothing praise for Torrance's work since he got the manuscript last month and finished it in an evening. “It opens with, ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’ Is that not profound? The author then leads his readers through a series of work-and-play scenarios that seem never ending, and then he drops a bomb during the final act. He writes, ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’ Wow. I won’t tell you how it ends.”

Others are ready to take an axe to the novel.

“I haven’t read it yet,” said Internet blogger Joe Blow. “But I’m pretty sure it’s over-hyped, pretentious and not nearly as good as the unknown obscure pieces you can read about on my blog, ‘Joe Blow’s Bitchin' Blog.’”

During a press conference last night, Torrance told reporters he killed to get his book into readers’ hands.

“It was a mad passion with me,” he said. “I have to thank my late wife and son for all they gave to make this a reality. Now, finally, heeeeere’s ‘Dull Boy.’”

“Dull Boy” is set to hit bookshelves on Tuesday. 

Those in the Transyl-vein-ia area have a chance to meet Torrance. He'll read aloud from his book and chop it up with guests from dusk to dawn at the Redrum Room Bookstore in the Transyl-vein-ia Mountains. Sno-Cats will be on hand to take guests up to the bookstore. Two-way radios and Sno-Cats will be sabotaged to ensure your stay through the winter.