Friday, October 23, 2015

Black cats and vampire bats vie for best in show, hoping for spot in Halloween festivities

Transyl-vein-ia’s top black cats and vampire bats will vie for a chance to bring humans bad luck on Halloween night during the annual Black Cats and Vampire Bats Show tomorrow night at the Transyl-vein-ia Convention Center.

Over 300,000 creatures of the night are registered to compete.

“We have black cats and vampire bats from all over the region,” said Itson Likedonkeykong, director of the show. “We’ve got cats that hiss, bats that buzz and egos twice the size of King Kong. Only 50,000 of these creatures will get a chance to go out into the night on Halloween and reign in other evil ‘things' in an orchestrated effort to frighten trick-or-treaters and issue them bad luck.”

Likedonkeykong told reporters that judges will choose one cat and one bat from the bunch with the Best In Show honor, and those two winners will then lead their respective winning brothers and sister in what they call "Operation Cross Paths and Buzz Heads."

“It’s a big responsibility,” Likedonkeykong said. “So the judges are very careful in choosing the wickedest critters of all time. Trick-or-treaters expect no less than the worst.”

Animal trainers, witches, scientists and witch doctors are literally working their “magic” on their pests so theirs are the ones to represent the world on Oct. 31.

“We love it,” said Muglani the Medicine Man, who has several vampire bats and a couple cats in the show. “I made sure my little suckers have the teeth to open up a Boeing 747 like it was a can of tuna. They’re true terrors.”

The show begins at 9 p.m. Tickets are still available at SqueakNMeow.mon.

-Jack O. Lantern

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