Staff Medi-kill Writer
Dr.
Jekyll has just finished a new and improved potion in time for you to try on Halloween. The
formula, Dr. Jekyll's Death Potion No. 17, is longer lasting than previous potions and gives those who consume it a
much bigger boost of rage and insanity.
Monsters
are already saying No. 17 contains the right ingredients in the right
proportion to deliver the big bad, nasty "Mr. Hyde" demeanor that
only a potion from Dr. Jekyll's lab can deliver.
“Will
girls be screaming?” said Dr. Jekyll. “Yes. Will kids be running? Yes. Will
grown men cry? Absolutely. This new formula packs a serious wallop. The good
news is Death Potion No. 17 offers no health benefits whatsoever. In fact, the
combination of chemicals is likely to do more harm than good. I’m thrilled
about that.”
Some
of the amazing side effects of No. 17 include elevated heart rates,
hypertension, anxiety, headaches and interrupted sleep patterns. A recent study
by Transyl-vein-ia University suggest even more exciting outcomes, such as
severe heart palpitations, strokes and, for an added bonus, permanent insanity.
“Whenever
I’m feeling too cheerful or content,” Jekyll said, “I take a couple sips of No.
17, and it transforms me into a raging lunatic, pushing me to turn everything
and everyone upside down. Try it for yourself. You’ll be the pain of the party
in no time.”
Dr.
Jekyll’s Death Potion No. 17 is now available on the quack market.
No comments:
Post a Comment