Gremlins getting sloppy, chainsaw psycho sloppier

BIGFOOT NATIONAL PARK -- A pack of gremlins were seen in a big hurry this evening, darting through Camp Slasher Psycho like greased lightning. The little critters just barely made it to the mid-sized sedan near the lake as a victim running from a chainsaw-wielding psycho had already gotten into the vehicle, fumbled with her keys and worked the right key into the ignition. Just as the car was about to turn over -- as it had done a thousand times before since the owner of the vehicle purchased the car several years ago -- the mischievious gremlins did what they do worst. The starter was cranking and cranking and cranking, and that's all it did. And then the victim’s pursuer caught up and, well, let’s just say it became one of those slice-of-life tales that are all so common in these parts. Gremlins made it right in the "nick" of time, but are cuttin' it close these days. Chainsaw psycho cut it closer and took out much more than just a little nick. (Even we know that was bad.)