Werewolf ticked with his doctor

WEREWOLFTOWN -- A  werewolf was more than fired up with his doctor after going through a mess of side effects from medications he’d prescribed. During a recent transformation, John T. Wolf, only 32, noticed his fur coat was thinning, and so he went to a big city doctor in Downtown Transylveinya to see what was wrong. Doctor Q. Wack, according to Wolf, gave him a prescription, and within a few days, he was fully covered in werewolf hair, face and all. However, Wolf noticed several side effects, including dizziness, blood in his urine and a severe lack of appetite, which is no good in his line of work. “I didn’t even crave my prey each night,” the werewolf said. “One night on the moors I ate a few berries off trees. Try explaining that to your friends when they’re downing some poor helpless fellow. I had to go back to that doctor and get something else.” But an alternative medication had side effects as well, including shakiness and unsteady walk, chest pain, anxiety and bladder trouble. After going through two more medications with other unique side effects, Wolf finally lashed out at Dr. Wack, cutting him short of his co-pay and taking a big bite out of the incompetent fool, giving him the werewolf’s curse and the additional curse of thinning hair. When Wolf tried to push all those medications back on his doc, the medical professional told him he wouldn’t take that stuff if his own doctor prescribed them to him. So if you see two balding werewolves out on the town, please, do them a favor and tell them there’s a new supplement called Essential Gold Standard Platinum Pro X2000 Trans4m (not a drug) that works even better than all that medication. The only side effects are possible changes in kidney and liver functions, cold sweats, crying and loss of teeth. But those wolves will have healthy manes. (You have to have issues if you read this whole story.)