Pres. Drac officially changes spelling of monster world name

DOWNTOWN TRANSYLVEINYA -- Those of you weirdoes out there who read this online rag on a regular basis and those who live in the monster world might’ve noticed a change in the way the name of the region has been spelled as of late. That’s because President Count Dracula changed it from “Transyl-vein-ia” to “Transylveinya,” and now it's official, despite the fact that the bloodsucker despises change. He hates when policies change, when seasons change, when night changes to day. He won’t even change his underwear. “I like regularity, patterns, the status quo and consistency,” Dracula said. “When things change, I get annoyed, inconvenienced and, let's face it, pretty heated. Unless, of course, I’m the one doing the changing. Then I’m fine with change." Drac changed the name last night. From this point on, it'll be spelled the way he likes it, even in the upcoming travel guide to the monster universe, "Transylveinya Traveler: A Travel Guide for Monsters, Ghosts, Vampires, Aliens, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies, Demons...And Mad Scientists, Too." Look for that guide in October wherever books are sold.