Friday, September 4, 2015

Gang arrives at Labor Day weekend destination, shows disappointment -- no bogus mystery plopped in laps

Fred parked the Mystery Machine in a parking lot at Venice Beach earlier this afternoon, and the gang hopped out for a Labor Day weekend beach bash they knew they wouldn’t get to enjoy because some kooky monster would no doubt put them on a path to solving a mystery.

That didn’t happen. The Mystery Machine will stay put.

“So now, like, we’re gonna have actually enjoy the weekend we pretended to come here for?” said Shaggy when he discovered there were no monsters, no evil plots and nothing but good times in the forecast. “Like, how am I supposed to lose my marbles if there’s no danger for me and Scoob to get into?”

Scooby-Doo shared Shag’s sentiments with an, “Arrr-uuuu.” Fred, Velma and Daphne said they feared they’d be stuck doing the same dance loop the entire weekend.

“It’s bad enough we have to do that same loop for the 30 seconds we do it in each episode of our show,” Velma said. “But for the whole weekend? I don’t even know how to dance. To make matters worse, our animators don’t know how to dance either. This s__t just got real.”

Daphne spent the first two hours of the three-day weekend asking beachgoers if they’d noticed any suspicious activity, in hopes she could get something going. Most people just pointed out the dance loop Fred and Velma were doing on the beach for the previous two hours.

“Oh no you didn’t,” Daphne told one gentleman who laughed at her friends. “This s__t just got really real.”

The gang is reportedly a friggin' cartoon. So none of that s__t was ever going to get real. Welcome to the club.

-George Jetson

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