Sport utility vehicle a tasty meal, says common household spider

TRANSYL-VEIN-IA HILLS -- A common household spider in the suburbs of Transyl-vein-ia Hills enjoyed a beat-up teal green sport utility vehicle over the weekend.

The eight-legged freak was the first customer in a line of many to try out the new eatery on Insect Centre Drive called The Junkyard, which offers up everything from tasty motorcycles and vans to mouthwatering sedans and trucks. Already, The Junkyard is gaining a reputation as the best bite in town for giant insects looking for a hearty breakfast, lunch or dinner.

To see the menu, with fresh catches from Hell’s Highway every day, check the Travel Tragedies section of the newspaper for newly crashed vehicles to come.