Two-Headed Lion’s Head Inn being used for good, not evil

By The Invisible Man

Contributor to the JLP

MAD SCIENCE DISTRICT -- The rooms in the Two-Headed Lion’s Head Inn are meant for mad scientists to conduct work of terror. According to sources, however, some geniuses are using the spaces for good.

As with almost anything that has bad intentions, there will always be monsters out there taking advantage of these tools of evil and using them for rightdoing.

“We stocked the place up with human guests and servants,” said innkeeper H.G. Hell, “who are careless and who meddle, and police who are right down the street who are there to serve, protect and obey, and who also love to meddle. These folks are trained to go up to the rooms to help out, deliver food or to, you know, meddle, and some of our guests are hiding their horrors. They don’t release their terror on these fools. And we can’t help but wonder why not.”

Hell said one of his guests actually offered an employee at the inn a seat in his chamber for dinner because, as he claimed, he was lonely.

“Can you believe that?” Hell said. “In what day and age are we living in when a mad scientist offers perfectly sane kindness? I’m sickened and I’m saddened by the whole stupid affair.”

But do-gooders, such as the one mentioned above, who offered a seat in his chamber to an inn employee for dinner, might just have perfectly bad intentions. One source that wishes to remain anonymous brought up the story of Dr. Frankenstein.

“The media came out with books and movies and news,” the source said, “about how Frankenstein was a scientist trying to do good, and it all just backfired on him with his creation inflicting horror on the whole village. Monsters all over Transyl-vein-ia took these lies and ran with them, claiming Dr. Frankenstein was a fake and a hack. And then they ran him out of town on a rail. But they got Dr. Frankenstein all wrong. He never meant to advance science. His intentions were always to release horror on the village. And guess what? His experiment was a huge success. And he changed monstering for an entire industry.”

Jack-o’-Lantern Press talked to some of the humanitarians staying at the Two-Headed Lion’s Head Inn and asked if the media and monsters all over Transyl-vein-ia had gotten them all wrong as they’d done with Frankenstein. One individual we talked to, who offered his entire meal and room to a family very much in need of a good, hearty meal after being left out in the cold for months on end with very little to eat, had this to say:

“No, I intended to be a good mad scientist and share my love with others,” he admitted. “And if you don’t like it, come on up to my room and see what I’ll do to you . . . I’ll invite you in for some lovely crumpets and tea!”