Friday, August 14, 2020

Disgruntled Graboid makes waves

By Earl & Valentine
Staff Handymen & Dead Body Recovery Services Writers

A 60-something-year-old Graboid (aka Mother Hunker, aka Shrieker, aka worm-like monster hungry for human flesh) filed a complaint last night with the Valley of Doom’s Tremor Order concerning another Graboid (aka Dirt Dragon, aka Ass Blaster) that rudely serpentined between her and the Earth’s surface (maybe 20 yards below ground) on her ascent toward human life above. She was irked that she had to stop in her tunnel and wait for the rogue Mother Hunker to pass. Who was he to slow her down? When asked if she was going to—


The 60-something-year-old Graboid cut off our question before we could actually ask it, and said, “These monsters today are all so entitled and have no patience at all.”

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