By Mac Hete
Staff Home Slice Writer
VALLEY
OF DOOM -- It wouldn’t be a trip to the desert without a visit to the center of
the desert.
Several
uninhabited barren spots in the Valley of Doom are only a few Transyl-vein-ia
landmarks that slasher psycho Jason will stop by during his Friday the 13th
farewell tour.
“He’ll
be talking to fans and signing autographs,” said his mother and agent, Pamela. “And
then he’ll be done forever. The end, the final chapter, he goes to Hell for
good . . . He will die! But don’t worry -- he’ll be back in another, even more
final farewell tour next Friday the 13th for a new beginning. He will live
again!”
Other
spots on Jason’s tour include Quicksand Ranch, Motel 666 on Hell’s Highway, The
Oasis in Tombtown and the Monster Mountain Mine on Monster Mesa. He’ll also
stop by other landmarks outside of the Valley of Doom. For a detailed tour list
of landmarks in Transyl-vein-ia, go to Jason’s official tour site at
CutAboveTheRest.mon.
If
you plan on seeing Jason, be advised: the famous slasher psycho will not be
signing DVDs or hockey masks. He’ll be signing limbs only. And he’ll be signing
them with his steel imported Gerber Gator machete wielding a 15-inch blade on
one side and an 18-inch high performance saw blade on the other. Be prepared to
run. He likes the chase.
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